


Coming To Terms

by Sassywolf23



Series: The Logan Chronicles [2]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:49:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2458778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassywolf23/pseuds/Sassywolf23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris walked away from Hawke with the intention to finding himself, but he's still in love with him. Anders is becoming even more embroiled in the fight between the mages and templars, sometimes threatening the entire group. Isabela wants more details about Hawke and Fenris. Varric... Varric just wants to keep his business going. </p><p>Takes place during the three years between Act 2 and Act 3. </p><p>The rating is for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Bombshell

**Coming To Terms**

**_Chapter 1: A Bombshell_  **

_Note: this takes place sometime after the events in Quite the Show. You don’t need to have read that for this to make sense, however._

~

Wicked Grace—a card game that Isabela was quite good at. Sex—Isabela was good at this too.

But she found that she wasn’t good at concentrating on both. And Logan Hawke wasn’t making things easy for her.

They had a small group of friends over at Hawke’s mansion, a weekly event that Hawke found difficult to let go of, even in the light of his mother’s murder.

She and Hawke weren’t actually together anymore, an arrangement that quite suited the rogue; Isabela didn’t want to end up entangled in the possibility of another marriage. She was quite happy with her freedom, thank you very much.

But she found that she was just a tiny bit possessive when it came to the red-haired and rather _kinky_ Logan Hawke. The man just _knew_ how to get her hot and bothered.

Finding it impossible to focus on the cards in front of her, Isabela chose that exact moment to look at the man who was currently on her mind; he was deep in conversation with Varric and Fenris, arguing about something Varric had done.

“Fen, back me up on this,” he was saying, “not everything about me needs to be written or told as a story.”

“But it’s business, Hawke.” That was Varric.

“It’s the exact opposite of business. Why in Andraste’s name would you spread rumors about my sexual prowess?”

“It keeps people coming back for more. That’s how I make my living.”

_Practical,_ Isabela thought.

“Yes, but why use me to keep business going? And how do you know anything about my sexual prowess to begin with?”

Varric shifted in his seat. “I have contacts,” he replied finally, using the sudden silence to drain his mug.

“What contacts?” Fenris asked, taking his cue from Hawke, who was suddenly very interested in his own hands.

“I know people who know people,” Varric defended himself. “And Hawke isn’t that discreet when it comes to the Blooming Rose.”

Hawke’s eyes shot guiltily to Fenris’s face, which had gone still and remote.

_They’d been…_ Isabela felt her eyes go round. Well, that explained the tension between the two.

“I… have to go,” Fenris said, dropping his mug on the table. As he got up and walked away, Logan made as though to follow him, but changed his mind.

“Are you sure he should be walking by himself, Hawke?” Varric questioned, with a shrewd look on his face.

Hawke shrugged. 

* * *

 

 Hawke was sleeping around at the Blooming Rose. Somehow, even though it shouldn’t have surprised him, Fenris found that the fact hurt.

He’d chosen to walk away, chosen to figure out in his head where he was at, and yeah, he wasn’t really expecting Hawke to wait, but it. Still. Hurt.

He kicked his heel against the hard stone of Hightown, wishing that the pain could numb him on the inside.

_Venhedis!_

The sound of the door behind him caused him to turn around.

“Fenris, I…”

“What, Hawke, you’re sorry that I had to hear that?”

The hurt in Hawke’s eyes hit Fenris like one of Merrill’s stone fists. He really had no right to be angry.

“Look, it doesn’t matter. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” the elf growled, walking away. Leaving Hawke in a confused and guilty haze.

For the next three days, Fenris avoided going anywhere that Hawke was spending time. He wandered through Kirkwall on his own, helping slaves out when he could, but all the while fuming at himself for his lack of impulse control.

Hurting Hawke was the easiest option.

If Hawke was hurt enough, he’d stop chasing after Fenris. He’d stop desiring his presence altogether.

 So why didn’t that make Fenris feel any better?

* * *

 

Three weeks. He hadn’t seen Fenris for three weeks. Logan was in a panic. And every time he’d stopped at the Hanged Man, it was always with the same question: “Varric, have you seen Fenris?”

Varric would shake his head. “No, I haven’t. Honestly, Hawke, things will cool down. In the meantime…”

And Hawke would end up caught up in another bad situation.

He stared into his fireplace, not really seeing anything. He was thinking back to that fateful conversation.

_“…I feel like such a fool.”_

_“We can work through this.”_

_Fenris shook his head sadly and walked out of the room, leaving a very confused Logan Hawke in his wake._

“Oh, there you are, messere. There’s a gentleman outside looking for you.” Bodahn’s voice broke through Hawke’s chaotic thoughts, and he looked up.

“Huh? Oh, I’ll be right there,” he said, slowly getting out of his chair.

“No need.” The rough voice of Fenris caused Logan to topple over in surprise, landing in an ungainly mess on the floor.

“Fen,” Hawke breathed, a sigh loosed as he pulled himself into a more dignified position. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over Kirkwall for you. You’ve been gone—“

“Three weeks, I know,” Fenris helpfully supplied, settling on the arm of the chair that Hawke had just vacated. “I had some thinking to do.”

This had Logan’s attention. “What’s on your mind?” he asked, with a note of uncertainty in his deep voice.

“Well, you still have some need of me, and I you.  I still have business with Danarius, and until that’s done I’m stuck. You seem to have made a home here and that’s not going to go away either. So, that leaves us with this: my blade is yours, until you decide otherwise. But everything else is off the table.”

Hawke thought this through, but not wanting to push his luck, nodded his head in agreement, standing up and brushing the invisible dust off of his house clothes.

Fenris nodded briskly and stood up as well, then walked toward the door, not looking back.

“Thanks, Fen.”

Fenris stopped and opened his mouth, intending on saying…

He shook his head. “Don’t thank me yet, Hawke. I may be more trouble than you can handle.”

Logan watched in silence as he walked out of the room.

Knowing that there was nothing he could do, and yet still wishing he could. 


	2. Touch

**Coming to Terms**

**Chapter 2: Touch**

 

Touch—it could be a deceptive thing; and, in Fenris’s case, a terrifying thing.

 

Sleeping or waking, Logan’s touch haunted him. In sleep, Fenris was able somewhat to control that touch but awake?

 

They’d be in the middle of combat and Hawke would run by, brushing an arm against Fenris’s side. They’d be chatting with Isabela at the Hanged Man and Hawke would find some way to touch his shoulder as he ordered more ale.

 

And even though Fenris wanted to, he couldn’t find the right way to express his feelings. He couldn’t tell Hawke, “I’m sorry I left you. Take me back?”

 

He was a mess; he knew it. Why couldn’t Hawke see it? Why did Hawke want him in the first place?

 

Why did he want Hawke?

 

Why did he find himself thinking about that night? Why did he remember every touch as though it had just happened? Every sound that he and Hawke had made; why did he still hear them?

 

Why couldn’t he force himself to move on? Hawke clearly had.

 

He found himself wandering restlessly at night, through Hightown and Darktown, passing by Logan’s mansion or Anders’ clinic (both places Hawke frequented on a regular basis).

 

Isabela would sometimes catch him. Her expression at first was that of a gleeful child, but as he did this more and more, it soon became apparent that she felt sorry for him. He didn’t need her pity, he pitied himself enough already.

 

He needed Logan, but felt too foolish to admit it. Why couldn’t he make Logan hate him?

 

~

 

_Fenris knew he was asleep, but he didn’t want to move. He was enjoying the moment too much._

_They were standing in the doorway, kissing, running hands over each other, tongues fighting for control._

_Fenris had his back to the wall, the hard surface the only thing keeping him up._

_Hawke pulled away for a second, obviously checking that Fenris was alright and that he was okay with what they were doing._

_As he nodded, Fenris was struck by just how insecure Hawke really was. He hid behind jokes because that was the only way to keep people from digging too deeply._

_He ran his hands through Logan’s hair. “I’m fine,” he murmured, pulling so that their lips touched again._

_And he was lost._

When Fenris woke up, he touched a finger to his tingling lips.

 

Had it really been just a dream?

 

He shook his head and climbed out of bed, grabbing his clothing as he went.

 

Maybe doing some sword practice would get his mind off of his situation.

 

It had been a year since that night. He should have this out of his system by now, ready to move on and away from Logan.

 

As he got set up, the knock on his door surprised him. It was too early for guests. And he didn’t think he had placed an order for anything.

 

He moved slowly to the front hall, careful to check on who it was. Couldn’t be too safe, he thought, especially seeing as Danarius was still on his trail somewhere. Had to be.

 

“Fenris, I know you’re there. I need to ask you a favor.” The sound of Hawke’s voice sent relief flooding through Fenris’s body, but the tension was back a second later. Hawke only asked for favors when it was dangerous.

 

“What’s the favor?” Fenris asked as soon as the door was open. But he knew just as the words fell out that it was important.

 

“I’m being chased by Carta. Varric has been running down some leads and I was wondering if you’d be willing to come traveling with me? Please? It’s important.” And Hawke pulled the puppy eyes that Fenris was known for.

 

Fenris shook his head, trying to keep from grinning. He was lost.

 

“Of course. When are you leaving?”

 

“Um… right now?”

 

Fenris nodded, turning away slowly to collect his things.

 

But inside, he was practically skipping.

 

Hawke still trusted him.

 

Even after what he’d done to him.

 

Even after leaving him heartbroken and uncertain.

 

That was reason enough to jump for joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters. I promise they start picking up. This chapter connects events that occur with the DLC Legacy (if you take Fenris with you, of course).


End file.
